Monday March 29, 2010 - St. Louis, Missouri

After almost a week and a half in St. Louis with our friends Gary & Christine, we're preparing to pack up and head out for our next stop - Indianapolis, IN.

The stay here has been good. It's wonderful to see the kids love for Gary & Christine - who in turn are wonderful at interacting with the kids in all the right ways. Stories read, games explained, video games participated in, and simply paying them attention, listening to what they have to say, always ready with a hug and an affirming word. It's beautiful, and I can't wait until G & C have rugrats of their own so that we can return the beautiful favor of loving their children as they have and do love ours.

Alec and I went to a do-it-yourself car wash today to vacuum out the van. The trip thus far through mud, some snow, and more recently a lot of rain and mud has taken it's toll on the interior. Amazing how the sight of leaves and the detritus of multiple entries and exits by small unconcerned feet can make being in the van feel sorta yucky. Conversely, it's nice how a simple thing such as vacuuming all the aforementioned yuck out can make the van feel clean and new again.

In beginning the process of organizing the rear cargo space for packing again, I was happy to find a way to eliminate both of the bulky boxes that I had packed out from California. One had a few extra theological books that I wanted to donate to G & C's impressive new library. The other had the remains of the oft-inspired, seldom duplicated Nelson Port-O-Bar. I had shrunk our liquor collection down to a single box as we left Camarillo, entrusting the remainder of the less-used cordials and bottles to our good friends who were moving in as the new renters of the house. In Tempe, over half of that one packed box of liquor was eliminated, either by directly drinking it while there, or by leaving it with Gena's folks since I knew we weren't likely to want it.

Less than six bottles came across the country to St. Louis with us. We polished off the huckleberry liquor (mixed with carbonated water and a little cream - yum!), the vodka (whiteRussians, of course), put a dent in the Kahlua and didn't bother the Irish Cream much or the whiskey. So I'll leave those few remaining bottles with G & C. Contrary to what I just described, we really don't drink *that* much, and we can always pick up a bottle of whatever we have a hankering for.

All of which to say, two boxes are now gone from the cargo area of the van, which should make packing even easier than it has been thus far. Which makes me a happy camper.

Saturday, March 27 2010 - St. Louis, Missouri

Perspective comes in unexpected places.

I've been told by more than one person in the last few weeks that we're very odd for approaching my wait for a new Call by going on the road. I'm beginning to resign myself to the fact that, in nearly every facet of our lives, we approach and look at things from some angle slightly off from mainstream. I'm all right with that, but it's disconcerting at times. I'm not sure whether to spend more time trying to get others to see things the way we see them, or force ourselves to approach things more predictably. I'm not sure that either option is all that realistic.

During my time in St. Louis for Seminary, I discovered an unusual little place. A very old Lutheran church building that had fallen into decay and disuse was being renovated and hopefully revitalized. The sanctuary had been gutted, the roof redone, the floor replaced. A preschool had been built to help generate revenue during the renovations. The sanctuary became the home of a different sort of church - a church as well as a coffee house. The church is located on the eastern edge of St. Louis University, and stands between the affluence of the campus and the poverty of the neighborhood across the street. It's a difficult place to do ministry - an LCMS church on the edge of a Catholic university and an inner-city neighborhood.

This is The Crave. I volunteered as a barista there for a month or so while Gena & the kids were out of town. Budgetarily they run a tight ship, and so I volunteered to help out for free for a few shifts. I learned a little about how to make coffee drinks - most of which I've forgotten. But it was an interesting place to hang out in. At that point, they had no pastor, and the worship element of the church was handled by a consortium of interested seminary profs and students. I was there for their first worship service, and it was a crowded and excited group of mostly Sem-related people.

A colleague of mine was called to be Pastor there after serving his vicarage there. He's a warm, earnest man with a Masters in Counseling under his belt before attending Sem and receiving ordination. He's pretty much the only colleague of mine from Seminary serving in the St. Louis area that I know vaguely well enough to try and see. And since this is the start of Holy Week, I figured an extra church service wouldn't hurt anything either. Besides, I wanted to see what he was doing with the place, so I stopped in for worship tonight.

After the service, we chatted for a few minutes. We weren't close friends in Sem or anything, but we had several classes together. He told me how within the last year it was decided that it was still very much a mission congregation. In other words, they couldn't afford him. His solution is one that St. Paul found very helpful - he does other work to support his ability to do ministry at The Crave. He does counseling a few hours a week. He works at another congregation a few hours a week. And he devotes the rest of his time to The Crave.

It hasn't been easy, but it's a work in progress. I could sense the struggle in him because of the fragmented nature of his time and attention. He seems to be holding up well, but it isn't likely a situation that's going to change any time soon, and that can be wearing.

Ministry is changing. There's value in that as ministers model the faith and trust and resilience that we are fond of exhorting our congregations to. As I wait for what God leads us to next, it's good to remember that even the best of situations aren't static, aren't predictable. There isn't necessarily the perfect Call. There may be only the privilege of attempting to learn humility and joy in the simple things, the imperfect things, and the struggles.

An important thing to remember, whether on the road or in the momentary security of a vocational calling.

Mika - Friday March 26, 2010

Hello guys! I love you very much. I played Wii a lot of times. And we played chickenfoot. And we played Wii Fit. I ran for ten minutes. I had Cheerios and milk for breakfast. Good bye, guys! - Mika

Alec - Friday March 26, 2010

I had fun today. I got to play a game called chickenfoot. It was a very fun game. Chickenfoot was my math for today. Dad had to figure the rules out on the computer and he figured it out. Caedmon had a party last night for having seven dry diapers at night. We had cupcakes, ice cream and we gave him a special toy and we gave him a balloon. It was a very fun party last night. We played Wii last night. Love, Alec.

Caedmon - Friday, March 26 2010

Today we played a game. It was dominoes. The name of the game was chickenfoot. I winned the first game! I love you very much. The end. Good night!

Wednesday, March 24 2010 - St. Louis, Missouri

Today we took a trip to the zoo, since the next three days or so are supposed to be cold and rainy. The St. Louis Zoo is free, which is really nice. We particularly enjoyed watching the hippos, and taking a stroll through the butterfly habitat.

I can't really explain the photos at the top of Mika and Caedmon. They found one of Christine's fuzzy skirts and decided to wear it. Sort of.

Tuesday March 23, 2010 - St. Louis, Missouri

Yes, we're late on this one again.

We found out Tuesday that Paul did not get the Call to pastor in Federal Way, WA. It's disappointing, even though we knew that was a very real possibility. Time to readjust. It may be that we have more 'free' time on our hands in the coming months than we thought we might!

On a happier note, Gena got to visit with a friend she made briefly during our time living in St. Louis' Shaw Neighborhood a few years ago. After a few years stationed in Germany, they're now living in Illinois, so Gena & the kids had a visit. The pictures are from that.

Alec - Monday, March 22, 2010

Hi guys! We've already moved to Gary and Christine's house. We're staying there more than a week. We went to church yesterday. I loved the songs. I'm doing home schooling at Gary and Christine's house. I did home schooling today. I had a fun time. I read The Butter Battle. I read the other book I'm in the Bathtub Still. My favorite book is The Butter Battle. I played Wii yesternight. I had fun on the Wii. It was rainy yesterday. It rained a lot! It was pretty wet out there. I think that's all I want to say. That's a pretty long writing! Love, Alec.

Mika - Monday, March 22, 2010

I did school today. I did skip counting by twos, fives, and tens. I also read the book David Gets in Trouble. It's about a boy who missed his pants and he's wearing underwear. I had a chocolate bunny at Ms. Marian's house. I really like her. I maked friends with her and I love her. And...that's all I want to say!

Caedmon - Monday, March 22 2010

Today we had school. I practiced writing the letter A. I played, too. My favorite thing today was eating a chocolate bunny. I got eggs too. That's all!

Sunday March 21, 2010 - St. Louis, Missouri

It rained all day today. Cold and drizzly rain, which I loved. We went to church at Timothy Lutheran Church. The pastor is a former missionary colleague of Gena's father. While I have worshiped at Timothy several times over the past six years, this was Gena's first time. Gary & Christine were helping out with the worship team, introducing some of the Taize music that we all love.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing, mostly. The kids read or played some video games. An indoor day, ended with a fire in the fireplace, popcorn, some cheese and crackers. A little bit of familiarity in the midst of constant change of location and people. We struggle to maintain certain rituals and patterns for our kids. They have dealt with constant change sooooo well. The least we can do is try and ensure that each day they have familiar touchstones. The breakfasts they like. Popcorn on Sunday evenings. Sometimes it's the little things that mean the most - to little people as well as big ones.

Saturday, March 20 2010 - Springfield to St. Louis, Missouri

We said goodbye to our friends the Steinmetz's in Springfield, MO this morning. Mika wanted to make sure we took this picture in front of the television so people could see the video game that the kids had been playing all morning (Mario Kart for the Game Cube).

We arrived mid-day in St. Louis at the home of our friends the Krekows, who felt the kids needed some wardrobe additions.

They have a large library room, which Alec had to himself for some final reading before bed.

Caedmon and Mika are more social readers. Fortunately, so is Christine.

This is the bed that Mika and Caedmon are sleeping in. Mika took this picture herself, she was so excited about the bed.

Just before dinner, in the kitchen with Gary & Christine. Alec took this picture.

Friday, March 19 - Springfield, Missouri

This is our last full day in Springfield. We leave tomorrow morning for St. Louis after several days of sunshine and temperatures in the mid-60's. It's supposed to rain and possibly snow here this weekend.

Thursday, March 18, 2010 - Springfield, Missouri

The kids awoke this morning to word that a herd of deer was feeding in the backyard where we are staying.

Later, the kids found a couple of slow ones and put leashes and collars on them to take them for a walk.

Wednesday March 18, 2010 - Springfield, Missouri

These first few shots are from the drive from Oklahoma City, OK to Springfield, MO. We stopped at the "world's largest McDonalds" - which sits over I-44 just a few miles into Oklahoma from the Missouri border. It didn't seem all that big - but the kids didn't seem to mind.

Gena--March 17, 2010

Weird. Maybe only weird when I stop to think about it. It is like a vacation but not. Caedmon asks me, "When are we going home?" Good question. I try to explain that we have packed up our home, put our stuff in storage, and we are waiting to find out where our new home will be. Kinda hard for a three almost four year old to understand. Actually kinda hard for my brain to wrap around too. "Well, are we going to our new home now?" Caedmon replies. "No," I answer. But I don't know what else to say. "Okay," says Caedmon, "God will tell us where our new home is". Good answer. The road is our home now...actually our pretend spaceship (a.k.a. our very practical, non-glamorous mini-van) is our traveling home for a while. At least for two or three months we think, maybe more. So far we have traveled through California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, and Missouri. Not bad. Rather than sit in one place to wait for God's answer to the home/place of ministry question, we decided to take a road trip. The 'big adventure trip' as the kids like to call it. And, suddenly this crazy, exciting, life-changing adventure is full of practicalities. How to pack the van for maximum efficiency...how to continue schooling the kids while on the trip...how to avoid eating out as much as possible...what to see in our various destinations... The list goes on. Okay, so I don't do limbo very well. I like to have answers to questions. Do I have it all figured out? No. Do I need to have it all figured out? No. At least I hope not. Maybe that is the point. Breathing. Enjoying all the moments in between. Thanking God for this gift of life, of adventure. Trusting that...okay, God will tell us.

Alec - Tuesday March 16 2010

We've gone through New Mexico, Texas, and now we're in Oklahoma City. We're staying at a hotel. We're watching TV. I ate rice and chicken fingers for dinner. We're going to bed soon. I'm very tired. I hope I get a good rest. Tomorrow we're going to visit Barb and Beno. Good night!

Mika - Tuesday March 16 2010

I played with Stephanie and Nicole. I love them really much. I dressed up as a princess with them. I really really love to dress up. They are nice to me. I like them. I really love everyone the best. I really love to play. I played a lot. Bu-bye.

Caedmon - Tuesday March 16 2010

We visited cousins in New Mexico. I played with Stephanie and Nicole. We played with Legos. We went to Grandma and Grandpa's house. Mika and I played horses in the 'barn'. That's all for now!

Monday March 15, 2010 - Albuquerque, New Mexico

We have some photos for the last couple of days to upload, but we aren't sure if we'll be able to do that in the next day or so. We'll let you know when they're posted so you can go back and see them if you're so inclined.

The kids slept late this morning, which was wonderful. There wasn't any new snow on this side of town, but further north near my folks there was apparently snow. We spent the morning here at Jeff & Terri's place so the kids could play with their cousins - Stephanie and Nicole. They had much fun playing with a massive bin of Legos while Gena and I got showered and dressed.

Around noon we headed north to Rio Rancho - about an hour's drive from Kirtland. My dad was still at work until mid-afternoon, so we took my mom to lunch at Chili's. Then it was back to their empty house to begin the process of trying to get the refrigerator and washer and dryer out the door and into the moving Pods. The refrigerator required some fancy maneuvering and removing the front door, but we made it out all right as my dad arrived from work. The washer & dryer were much easier, and beyond a few odds & ends, that concluded their packing.

We had dinner at Dion's, a local pizza chain. It was a nice way to sit and relax a little bit, which was my goal for my folks. They've been working really hard to get the place packed up, while my dad has also had a huge workload with major deadlines this week and next week. Not ideal timing for moving houses!

We got back to Jeff & Terri's place in time for showers. The kids were exhausted, and asleep not long after I explained to them what tomorrow would bring. While they're not thrilled with the idea of another long day in the car, they're encouraged by the idea that it will be the last long day in the car for a little while.

Temperatures today were around 50 degrees, sunny with some scattered puffy clouds. It acted as though it might rain or snow later in the day, but thus far has not. Hopefully the weather will hold for the next leg of our journey - Albuquerque to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. It's about 540 miles - which is about 60 miles farther than our drive Sunday. We stay on I-40 the entire way. It's one of the least enjoyable stretches of the trip. The scenery in eastern New Mexico through western Oklahoma is bleak to say the least. We hope to leave here around 10am, which will hopefully ensure that we arrive at least a little earlier than we did here.

Sunday, March 14 2010 - Tempe to Albuquerque, NM

We left Tempe today on the second leg of our adventure. It's a smaller leg, as several of the next legs are. But each leg is important. Somebody once used an analogy of the body to demonstrate that different things are not necessarily better or worse than one another because of their differences. Oftentimes, it's the differences that are most valuable to the body.

For the record, I'm a man. This means that I have odd ideas about packing and traveling and departure times that befuddle most of the fairer sex. At times like these, I try to breathe deeply and remember the Man's Prayer, courtesy of the Red and Green Show:

I'm a man

But I can change

If I have to

I guess.

Actually, change appears harder than it sounds on television, a phenomenon I have no explanations for yet.

In any event, to me, the statement that "we'll leave after worship Sunday morning" conjures images of us driving off into the late-morning sun directly from the church parking lot to the faint soundtrack of Gene Autry or perhaps Johnny Cash. Never mind that this is hardly reasonable, practical, or very well explained to my dear wife. In any event, we ended up driving off from Gena's folks' place around 11am Sunday morning after the final packing.

The drive north to Flagstaff on I-17 was blessedly simple. Mika & Caedmon pretty much slept for the whole two hours. We stopped in Flagstaff to stretch legs, take potty breaks, top off the fuel and have lunch. Part of our goal on this trip is to minimize eating out on our travel days to save money. So we had a 'picnic in the van', huddled over our mini-ice chest and munching on apples, sliced grilled chicken leftovers, mini-round cheeses that our kids adore, and the piece de resistance, a bag of mini-powdered donuts from the convenience store at the gas station. We would have gotten out, but it was pretty darn cold.

The trip from Flagstaff to Gallup, NM along I-40 is always frustrating to me. I dread the Flagstaff-Gallup drive because I have it lodged in my head that it shouldn't be all that long, and it always is long. 187 miles long. Nearly three hours long, even at my near-warp-speed driving pace. Ugh.

It was snowing in Gallup when we arrived. We quickly decided that we could justify pizza for dinner. So much for frugality. The pizza was awful, and helped me feel ill most of the way to Albuquerque.

It was snowing mightily when we left Gallup - to the point where visibility was very reduced and you couldn't actually see the lane dividers on the highway. Or tire tracks of other cars. Kind of unnerving. We were prepared to stay in Gallup if necessary, but thankfully the snow relented about five miles east of town and we had clear sailing the rest of the way.

We arrived at Kirtland Air Force Base just south of Albuquerque about 10:30pm. There, we discovered that somehow we had no proof of insurance or vehicle registration. Talk about embarrassing. However thanks to Gena's cousin's sergeant rank, the guard on duty was willing to let us onto the base. We are grateful for the chance to visit with Gena's cousin, his wife and their two daughters. Monday we'll visit with my folks as they wrap up the final stages of vacating one home in preparation of moving into another one in the next couple of weeks. It's a busy time for them and for us.

We hope things are a tad less complicated for y'all.

Caedmon's First Post

This is Caedmon. I like feeding fishes. I like to watch TV. Mika took this picture. That's all for now!

Mika's First Post

This is Mika. I went to the zoo. I've been feeding the fishes a lot. I like to watch television. My favorite shows are PBS Kids. I love everybody the best!

Alec's First Post

This is Alec. I am at Nana and Opa's house. I am having lots of fun. I've been playing a lot. I've been doing computer games. I've been playing video games. I have been feeding the fish. This is a picture of me and the fish. I've been looking at the fish.

I went to the zoo. I saw monkeys and giraffes. I got popcorn and a hat.

March 11 & 12, 2010 - Tempe, Arizona

My goal is to update this blog daily. Unfortunately, at this point, that means that I don't have a lot to say however, and I dislike being boring. Nothing much happened yesterday or today. Cousins came over to play today, which was a lot of fun for our kids. They end up playing a game called "Spies" which essentially involves sneaking by me without me making eye contact with them. At least, the boys do. The girls get tired of it pretty quickly. The boys get less bored of it because it inevitably ends up in a rousing rendition of "Pummel Uncle Paul", which they adore.

The problem is that they're getting older and bigger and stronger, so the pummeling from two nearly-8-year-olds and one nearly 4-year old boy is getting to be more intense. On the plus side, it's a better work out. On the downside, the importance of blocking and flexibility is increasing. It may be time to hit the Pilate's workouts again as well as more robust and manly strength-training. Of some sort. Eventually.

It's kind of surreal that we're leaving Phoenix Sunday around 10am and we haven't really thought too much about how to pack the mini-van. Part of this is due to the fact that for the better part of three years we were going cross country with (eventually) three kids (and occasionally one eighty pound dog as well) in a Toyota Echo. Comparatively, driving our Toyota Sienna is like driving the Grand Canyon. Because we purchased a used 2004 Sienna, we aren't worried about any of the recent issues Toyota vehicles have been having with sudden & unstoppable acceleration.

Other than my lead foot.

So, we have lots of space and not a lot to take with us so we aren't very worried but that seems horribly negligent of us in some fundamental way that we've yet to pin down but are sure will become obvious once we leave. Our camping gear is in a very stylish roof top carrier in case our journey extends into camping season. With about a week's worth of outfits for each person in the family, we shouldn't have to cram too much to get the clothing in the rear of the van. Leaving the kids' backpacks with toys and books, a small cooler, and a snack bag to join us in the main cabin. I haven't decided whether or not to try and take my guitar along and attempt to get better at it. I ought to, though.

That's about as much of a cliffhanger as you're going to get at this point in the journey. Stay tuned in a couple of days to find out whether or not the guitar makes the trip or not.

Try not to wet yourself in anticipation.

March 10, 2010 - Tempe, Arizona

We flew back from Federal Way this afternoon. It was amazing looking over the desert as we approached Phoenix from the north. Everything was so green - at least compared to how it normally looks. The Salt River was flowing. I saw at least one road washed out, and other areas where it appeared that the river might be flooding over a little bit. It's unusual to see the desert this greener shade of brown, but it was beautiful.

Funny how leaving the overcast skies of Seattle and flying into the overcast skies of Phoenix are nothing alike. Up north it's all steel greys and shadow blues, as opposed to the still uniform brownness of the desert landscape. It's a brutal place to call home, but beautiful in it's own way as well. I suppose I'd be happy if I was described that charitably from time to time!

The kids were glad to see us. Hyper hyper hyper. Mika was helping Nana with dinner, which was fun to watch. Gena and I have much to chew over, reviewing different points over the last few days, examining, wondering, dreaming, and telling ourselves not to get too excited one way or the other. In the meantime, we have a road trip to prepare for, which should give us more than enough to keep us busy the next few days.

On the plane ride we were seated next to a woman with a not-quite-two-year old. We always like those times, since we empathize with the stress that the mother is under to keep the child as quiet as possible, and it's nice to let them know that we aren't freaked out by the fact that their child occasionally screams and cries. I don't have any desire to return to those days, though!

One of my main goals in the next few days is to update the stereo deck in the mini-van we bought used last spring. It has a very nice deck in it right now - extremely nice, I found out today. Unfortunately, it doesn't have an external jack to plug our iPod in. On the bonus side, it's hooked up to a ten CD-changer that sits under the front passenger seat. I had hoped to just buy a new deck with an RCA jack, and hook it up to the existing changer so we could have both options at our disposal. Alas, I was informed that this is not possible.

Firstly, because decks and CD changers are (or more accurately were) paired together by manufacturer, rather than being interchangeable. So if I bought a different deck, it wouldn't necessarily be compatible with the CD changer unless it was the same manufacturer. Then I found out that there was a workaround from the deck manufacturer. Except that the workaround doesn't support the newer iPod devices. Finally, another workaround was found (thanks to the very helpful Mark at crutchfield.com), except that it required the out port currently being utilized by the changer.

It looks like we'll have to just buy a new deck, which I had originally assumed. But we'll have to give up the CD changer, which I hadn't assumed. Apparently nobody even makes CD changers anymore. It's amazing how quickly technology changes. And were I grumpier, I might lament about being old enough to have lived through not just one, but several massive changes in the way that stuff like music is created, stored, sold, replayed, etc. But rather than grump much about it, I'll just marvel at how much has changed so quickly, and how much better certain things are - such as music storage, portability, and playback - have become on account of this.

I'll probably go to Sounds Good to Me - a local audio store that I've been going to sporadically for close to 20 years. Except they've moved locations about a mile west, thanks to the continued massacre of Tempe by major chain drug stores and retail outlets. I was going to have a buddy here in town help, but I'm worried it will be more of a hassle now. I hate to impose, and I'm on a tight time frame. At least I trust the folks at Sounds Good to Me.

And as a final odd note, I'm meditating on and reading the book of Lamentations for Lent. It's hauntingly beautiful.

March 9, 2010 - Federal Way, Washington

It was a crisp, beautiful day today in Washington. It was also a busy day full of interviews. Operations manager. Pastor. Full staff. Program staff. Gena and I had a couple of hours to go and decompress a little. We enjoyed some local Starbucks coffee and went down to the waterfront to talk and laugh and dream. Then back for dinner with the Call team, and a final 90-minute Q&A with a cross section of the congregation. Exhausting.

But also a wonderful experience. We have no idea what to expect, but we feel that we our time here was an accurate reflection of who we are. Not just as a pastor and his wife, but as a husband and wife, a father and mother, two Christians continually seeking God's will in our life.

We have been impressed and amazed by how differently God's communities of faith can look and sound and act. How beautiful His people can be in varied situations. We come away from this experience knowing that this could be a fantastic and wonderful experience. But we pray for the Spirit to work, to guide, to enlighten. Not just us, but this congregation as well. They have big decisions to make, and that ought to be - and appears to be - both a lot of work and responsibility, as well as a lot of fun. Depending on the decisions they make, it will then be our turn to enjoy the decision-making process.

Tomorrow morning we wing our way back to Phoenix. It's been nice to have some time just for the two of us - even though we were often sharing that with one or several dozen other people. It will be good to be a family again with our kids, and to begin the final preparations for our road trip that will start this Sunday. Lots to look forward to in the coming days and weeks and months.

It's hard to believe that we've only been gone from Camarillo for just over a week. We've been able to talk briefly to some of our friends, either by phone or e-mail. We miss them, and the time we had to share with them. We know that in this time of transition, they have the rougher road as they determine God's leading for them in Camarillo.

Our road is more open for the moment.

March 8, 2010 - Federal Way, Washington

Today was the second big step of our next few weeks. Or months. Or longer. The first was leaving Camarillo. The second was flying today to Federal Way, Washington, for a second interview with one of - if not the largest LCMS congregation in the Northwest of the United States.

I had a phone interview with them towards the end of January. Then no word for two weeks. Then a game of phone tag culminating with an invitation for a second interview. I am the last of three people that they have brought in to interview in person. It's an honor, and also a very new thing for me.

My Call to Camarillo was not exactly typical. I was acquainted with the District President because he was a pastor in the East Valley area of Phoenix for some time. In addition to him knowing my wife's family (and being a classmate of my father-in-law, I think), I had the opportunity to work with him on one or two occasions back in the early 90's. He contacted me about coming to Camarillo to work with a congregation in transition as my deferred Seminary vicarage. The anticipation was that once my vicarage year was up, I would be ordained and installed as pastor - which is what happened.

It wasn't all that happened, but it did happen.

The Call process for our denominational polity is a curious one. Unlike the corporate world, it's not a matter of hustling to sell myself, to send out resumes, etc. There are head-hunter aspects to it - where some congregations seek to draw pastors that they know in some fashion are successful or desirable. There's a networking component whereby who you know can help get your name on a congregation's radar for further study. But as someone awaiting a Call, it's a rather passive process. I've been on job interviews before, but being interviewed by a congregation is not like a typical job interview. I believe very firmly that ultimately, what I may want and what the congregation may want are secondary to what God has in mind, and both sides need to trust that, even when it's difficult.

In some ways this is a relief. If I'm not selected for a Call, it isn't necessarily a comment on me. After all, God may have something all together different in store for me somewhere else. He may have someone even better in mind for the congregation. This removes a great deal of the pressure. It also alters the relationship of the pastor to the congregation from a more corporate model. The pastor is not an employee of the congregation in the typical sense. Both sides acknowledge that God has guided the process of issuing and accepting the Call. Neither side is at leisure to terminate that Call lightly. Even if one side or the other would really like to. If the Holy Spirit is playing a role in all of this, then part of the duty of both the pastor and the congregation is to trust this and allow the Spirit to work - even if it's painful.

We arrived in Seattle about 1:35pm, and were surprised to find large, clumpy snowflakes falling down. Not a few of them. Lots of them. It was as much a surprise to the residents of the area as it was to us. It was beautiful. I've been in the Northwest a fair number of times, but I've never seen it snow. I wish it had stuck, but that's not very common - particularly in March. If I were one to read symbolism into every little thing, I might see some portent in this unusual weather.

Particularly since it snowed again this evening.

But I resist those inclinations, and will simply enjoy the weather as the weather.

We met briefly with the pastor and his family, and then were driven around and shown the area by a member of the Call committee. Finally we had dinner with the Executive Leadership Team of the congregation. Everyone seems very nice. There are lots of things people want to know, but it doesn't make us anxious. We want them to know who we are, just as we want to know them as well.

Tomorrow is a full agenda of meetings with various groups and individuals from the congregation. It will be busy, but we're looking forward to it. We're loving the near-freezing temperatures. We're loving the low-hanging grey clouds over the water, tangling themselves in the tall pines and dribbling down the sides of hills. We're loving the idea that the Master of the Universe is at work in these meetings and conversations and meals, as He has been involved in all things since before the creation of the universe. We're loving the idea that after the meetings and meals, this congregation will issue a Call to someone, and that will hopefully result in a special relationship between a pastor and his family and hundreds of individuals and families in the congregation.

We're loving the idea that whether that person is me and us, or someone else, God is at work. Creating. Sustaining. Redeeming. Sanctifying. Reconciling. What a beautiful, blessed life.

March 7, 2010 - Tempe, Arizona

It rained today, as it only can rain in the desert, full of rosemary and sage and dust. Lightning eventually, but to begin with, just the hammering of large raindrops that deceive you into thinking you can dodge between them.

Worship today was nice. I didn't see anyone that I remembered from my old church - not that this is surprising after 20+ years. It made the experience a little less surreal. The pastor was preaching a series on miracles, and today he was talking about Jesus and Peter walking on the water. The pastor did a good job communicating his thoughts. Very real and present, not scripted, not sounding like an automaton reciting memorized points. He focused mostly on how God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit call us as followers of Christ out of our comfort zones, how God seeks to disturb our quiet cocoons of familiarity that can all too easily become tombs. Jesus called Peter to take a crazy step of faith, and Peter's life was undoubted forever changed in that process, as ours can and should be.

It's all very true. But I found myself as I often do when listening to other preachers, holding the text up and twisting and turning it, allowing the thoughts of the preacher to be refracted and tweaked and reflected back in different directions, perhaps. Not a negative comment on the person preaching - they are valuable in providing me with a direction to begin working from.

This morning, as I thought over the account, I wandered down different paths. Peter comes up with this bizarre test of Jesus' identity as Jesus approached them across the water. He asks Jesus to tell him to meet Him on the water. Jesus obliges. Peter obeys. Peter begins to sink. Jesus saves him and admonishes him for his lack of faith.

Peter was more than willing to be disturbed. He was more than willing to step out of his comfort zone. His request seems almost insane. Why not just ask Jesus a simpler question to validate His identity? Peter - always the brash one - is not content with anything but the most wholehearted of commitments.

Yet he fails. He sinks. It isn't whether or not Peter is disturbed that matters. The result is inevitably the same. On our own, we sink. We fail. And whether we are disturbed or not the overwhelming sufficiency of Jesus' grace and strength and mercy are what carries us through, what buoys us up and lifts us over the waves that topple us and would drown us otherwise. Whether we succeed or fail, whether we live or die - it is only by the grace of God.

This afternoon was another gathering with the cousins and family to observe my mother-in-law's birthday. A raucous but enjoyable afternoon, followed by a more subdued evening due to tired out kiddos. Gena and I are trying to figure out the complexities of packing for a two and a half day interview with a congregation in the Seattle area. We're excited, but also hesitant to allow our excitement get the better of us. More is at play than just us. More than just this other congregation and pastor and us. We want what is best not just for us, but for them as well. Good things seem to be happening with the congregation. We pray that such things continue - whether we can help contribute to it or not. Keep us in your prayers as we fly up and engage in these discussions.

March 6, 2010 - Tempe, Arizona

Today was pretty quiet. The big outing for the kids after their home school time this morning was to the pet store with their Opa to pick up some new fish for his fish tank.

Bible time this morning was a review of the first six commandments and a discussion about the seventh - do not steal. This one was a bit more relevant to the lil' darlin's than yesterday's very brief treatment of the sixth commandment (do not commit adultery). As they were reciting the commandments from memory this morning, Alec stumbled a bit with the sixth commandment, and it came out more like you will not admit adultery which, truth be told, seems to be a maxim too many people seem to feel more comfortable with than the original Hebrew version.

But stealing hits more to home. Mika is a curious little thing, and she often prefers to indulge her curiosity about things when nobody else is around. Much easier than trying to get permission to investigate. She and Caedmon have a very good relationship, but each of them feels quite excited to tell on the other when the time seems right. So we were able to talk quite a bit about stealing today and the kids were able to relate very well to the topic. As with all the commandments thus far, we repeated it together a few times, Alec & Mika both wrote it out with the other six, and then we ended with another run through out loud of all seven we've covered so far. I'm impressed with their memories, and am looking forward to further teaching.

We were up to cook tonight - and we went with one of our favorites - chicken tikka with coconut saffron basmati rice, a salad, and pita bread and naan bread from Trader Joe's. Always a hit. This time we marinated & grilled up an entire 10-pound bag of chicken breasts so that there would be lots left over to slice up tomorrow for lunch with the cousins.

For the first time in quite a while, I don't have to stay up tonight finishing a sermon. I can get up in the morning and ride to church with my family. I can sit with them, and help police the youngsters. It's a strange feeling, but a good one as well. The strangeness will be augmented by the fact that we'll be worshiping at the church that I grew up in when my family moved to the Tempe-Mesa area in 1978 - Gethsemane Lutheran Church. This is where I was confirmed and where I worshiped until I went off to college and got involved with the pretty freaky folks over at the student ministry near ASU. My mom taught in the preschool there for 20 years or more. It will be fun to see if I can find my old Confirmation photo to show my kids. I'm sure nothing is the same as it used to be, but it will be interesting to see it again.

March 5, 2010 - Tempe, Arizona

A little late on this one, but it wasn't exactly a headline news sorta day. The kids & Gena went with their Nana to the Phoenix Zoo, leaving me to complete the assembly of our tax documentation for last year. A huge relief to have that done. Now we just send it off and await the bad news. If I become more motivated, I may have to figure out how to do clergy taxes myself. Fortunately, motivation isn't exactly oozing out of my pores at the moment, so my tax guy is in no danger.

Once everyone was back in the afternoon, the cousins came over with Gena's sister. Two almost-eight-year-old boys, two five-year-old girls, and one almost-four-year-old boy is a handful! I always enjoy roughhousing with the kids. I remember as a child always wanting to roughhouse, but the adults never seemed to want to do it as long as I did. I've yet to find a kid that isn't just waiting for an adult to get down on their level for some fightin' fun. And, it's good exercise trying to keep two almost-eight-year-old boys at bay - each of whom has attached himself to one arm and is trying their best to get my elbows to touch behind my back. In the mean time, their respective five-year-old sisters are experimenting with various neck locks, trying to figure out the sleeper hold, while my almost-four-year-old son stands in front of me and delivers a flurry of blows to my chest and stomach. Sure beats going to the gym!

It's fun when kids get to the age of beginning to strategize their battles, and my son and his cousin were doing plenty of strategizing! My youngest son was doing a great, unprompted job of attempting to yank my arm out from under me whenever I was on all fours. Beautiful to watch - and only mildly painful to participate in. I'm proud of the little thugs. May they continue to grow stronger and smarter in their battle techniques!

March 4, 2010 - Tempe, Arizona

Today we spent part of the morning at the Tempe Public Library. The kids seemed to enjoy the change of scenery for their home-school lessons. There were more other children there than I would have expected - other home-schoolers I suspect, working on their various assignments at computer terminals or with more traditional print media.

Lunch was out at a favorite restaurant of ours, Sahara. Originally, this was a tiny little 'dive' located down the street from our former church and Arizona State University. The cooking was amazing, and the place itself was eerily oasis-like - with skylights that allowed diffused natural lighting over the ten or so tables clustered into the small space. With the rampant renovation/destruction of downtown Tempe, transforming it from an eclectic collection of mom & pop stores & restaurants into a bland reproduction of brand-name commercialism, Sahara was forced to relocate. The same family runs the place, and the food remains exquisite.

I tried the other Coffee Shop today - Gold Bar. Much better Internet connection and practically empty. Smaller than Xtreme Bean as well, which probably contributes to the less-busy atmosphere. Gena's out tonight with her sister, and I'm glad that they have some time to hang out and shoot the breeze in person. They have a good relationship, and I'm grateful for that during those times when we're struggling to find our way in a new place and situation - which has been more the rule than the exception in the past six years or so.

Tomorrow the agenda is to get the tax stuff together and sent off. I'm not looking forward to it, but it has to be done and there's no sense putting it off any further. Prayers are appreciated - I'm expecting we're going to have to pay more than I like to think about this year. It's strange to think that, for the moment, I'm no longer a pastor. I look forward to taking that mantle on again when God leads me to the right place. And after some of the challenges of the last Call, it's nice to catch my breath. I know I'll be ready when the next Call comes.

March 3, Tempe, Arizona

It was a relaxing day today, although the spotty wi-fi at the coffee shop is getting to be a headache. Time to try out another coffee shop and see if things there are a bit more stable. I'm catching up on some of the grading for the online college courses I'm teaching in Logic and Ethics, but it's frustrating to lose work that I've completed because the wi-fi connection decides to arbitrarily kick me off.

We've been here just over three days already, and time is going to accelerate rather markedly, I suspect. Gena and I will be flying up to the Seattle area next Monday through Wednesday for an interview. We'll be back just a few days, and then that Sunday after worship here in Tempe we hit the road for the mobile part of our family adventure. In between, I have to get our taxes put together and sent off, try to get an updated stereo deck in the minivan that will accept input from our iPod, write thank you notes to the wonderful people in Camarillo who sent us off with much love and no small amount of gifts, figure out the optimal way to pack the van for the next two or more months of travel, and a variety of other things I can't even think of at the moment. Lots of decisions to be made, including sketching out a rough budget for the coming months to see how quickly we have to buckle down to austerity mode.

It's nice to catch our breaths before two months of mobility, but it's hard to sit and wait as well. Part of me just wants to begin - to head for parts unknown (and some not-so-unknown). To hear the highway under the tires and watch the truck stops blur by on I-40. I'm sure that will get old rather quickly as well. It could just be that I'm never satisfied!

One of the highlights of the last two days has been an evening (well, late-night, more accurately) walk with Gena for 45 minutes or so. Time to talk - which we love to do. We've had people tell us that they're perplexed by our ability to spend hours talking with one another about the day, the week, the future, theology, whatever. It's one of our strengths, and one of the reasons I hunted Gena down so doggedly. Two introverts need to have at least one outlet to talk every day. It's nice that it can be each other.

It's also nice to be getting some intentional cardio time in each day - though depressing to think that 45 minutes of walking now equates to 'cardio time'. Still, it's a start. If we want to grow old together, we have to remember that while we can't control for all factors, we can and should at least be proactive in the areas that we *can* be proactive.

March 2, 2010 - Tempe, Arizona

We're beginning to set up some routines now. We began home school with the kids again after a hiatus for packing the past two weeks. I think they enjoyed getting back into their math and reading lessons. Mika read a very long Dr. Seuss book to me, which was wonderful. Alec discovered instructions for how to make a dough that could be shaped and allowed to harden into bowls which could be decorated. Sounds like an art project might be in the offing!

Our field trip today was to our favorite Asian market in the East Valley - Lee Lee Oriental Supermarket. While they don't appear to have a web site, here are some reviews to give you a general idea of what this place is like. Essentially, imagine a place bigger than your local Albertson's and filled with row after row of ingredients for Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, Indian, and other cuisines. Every imaginable type of rice, noodle, sauce, cracker and specialized drinks (lychee soda, anyone?).

Alec noted that the place smelled like fish, which is probably due to the tanks of live fish that they keep, in addition to a large selection of dead and/or frozen fish. They were excited to see the lobsters in the tanks. At least Alec & Caedmon were. Mika is working on her politely bored face. She'll have it down pat in about eight years or so!

I tried to work for a few hours this afternoon, but the Internet connection at the local coffee shop appeared to be mangled. Probably somebody downloading the complete collection of Dwight Yoakam's work. At least they weren't playing it as they downloaded it.

I packed up early to head 'home'. The kids were restless so we went for a walk around the block. Mika loves the little Razor scooter we got them for Christmas, so she took hers while the boys opted to remain a pied. Gena & I made dinner tonight - Chinese Simmered Star Anise Pork - one of our favorites. Simple & flavorful, with brown rice on the side, and steamed baby bok choy with garlic, salt, and some dry-fried quinoa (which I mistook for sesame seeds, but still tasted good). Gena & I may walk down to the coffee shop for exercise, conversation, and coffee. Not a bad way to end an evening!

March 1, 2010 - 11:00am

Today we're in Tempe, a suburb of Phoenix, Arizona. We're staying with Gena's folks for the next couple of weeks before launching the more adventurous portion of our...well...adventure.

Gena lived in Tempe for 14 years before moving away with me to St. Louis. She had years away for college in various locales, but Tempe is a familiar place for her. Tempe is where I did my undergraduate work at Arizona State University, and as I called the East Valley area of Phoenix home for almost 30 years, it's a very familiar place for me as well. Of course, things change. We've been away for six years, and things are different. Places are new and changed. But you always know your hometown in a way you never know any other place you live.

It's a comfortable place, but it's not home any longer. We're grateful for friends and family, for a place to land (and a place to crash if that ever becomes necessary!). We look forward to so much in the coming weeks and months - all highlighted in the diffused tones of uncertainty. We await God's leading in our lives, unsure of what that leading will look or feel like when the time comes, but delightedly aware of how He has led us in the past. We are blessed beyond measure as we enter this period of homeless unemployment. Far more blessed than many people who find themselves in this situation. We want to make the best of it, knowing that.

For now, I'm spending time catching up on some of the back work with the two online courses I'm currently teaching. Preparing to maintain and monitor them on the more jumbled of our on the road phase. The students are good, the material is interesting, and I'm grateful for the distraction that it provides me each day as I seek to make things relevant and interesting and applicable for them.

The kids are excited to be reunited after a few days just with Opa and Nana. They ask questions about what has happened to our house (we don't have it any more!), my car (it's staying in California with good friends who are willing to spare a portion of their driveway to house it until we either come to get it or sell it on Craigslist), our furniture and belongings (in a storage unit in Oxnard until we know where we'll be living next). Each of them reduced their belongings to a single backpack full of books and treasured toys - the rest either donated or put into storage. They're remarkably adaptable children. They travel well, and they ultimately trust that we're looking after them, which makes their uncertainty bearable.

They ask about when we'll have a new house, and we tell them when God tells us where to go. They want to know how we'll know when God is telling us where to go, and we struggle a little for the appropriate answer. God has shown us over and over again what He wants, even when we weren't sure ourselves. How do you employ the metaphors of open and closed doors effectively with kids under eight years old? How do you convey a sense of profound trust, even in the midst of profound uncertainty? We continue to talk about it. They continue to trust us as we trust God.

My wife is exquisite, with an appetite for adventure that I treasure. I've learned so much from her in our ten years of marriage.

But for now, I should quit procrastinating and get back to work. There's plenty to do on these classes in the next two weeks. Gena & the kids will take turns updating this blog as well. We'll assign colors or something to the text to help identify who is writing at any given time. This should be a lot of fun!

A New Start

The air was clear on our drive through the northern Los Angeles area yesterday. Rains the previous day had blown out much of the notorious smog, drawing the skyline into stark contrast with the brilliant blue sky and the rugged green mountains. It was the greenest I had ever seen Los Angeles. The greenest I had ever seen the area leading out of Los Angeles on Interstate 10 towards Palm Springs.

Eventually, the green died. The desert took over once again with more subdued and respectable tones of brown and more brown. The windmills were clicking away outside of Palm Springs. Almost every one of them was on - something I haven't seen too often on my various journeys through that rugged region.

My wife and I were driving East, leaving our home of the last two and a half years - Camarillo, California. Nestled in Ventura County's hills about ten miles or less from the coast, we enjoyed our time in that peaceful little community greatly. But change was afoot. My last day as pastor of a small congregation in the midst of upheaval was Sunday, February 28, 2010. It had been my first Call. Now I waited for a new one.

Without an income, staying in Camarillo - or most anywhere in California for that matter! - was not really an option. Rather than camp out in the living room of family for an undetermined number of months, my wife and I decided to launch our family of five on a cross-country tour of indeterminate length and distance. We don't know where all we'll go, or how long we'll be gone. We trust that God will provide the details as we go along.

But yesterday, the first part of the adventure was to lead my last worship service in Camarillo and drive east with my wife to Phoenix, AZ. There, in the city we had called home for years before uprooting to the midwest for Seminary and then the coast for vicarage and ordination, we would reunite with our three children who had been whisked there earlier in the week by my wife's parents.

We'll spend the next two weeks getting our bearings. Figuring out how best to pack our 2004 Toyota Sienna mini-van and roof-top carrier. Then we begin driving east, with tentative stops in Albuquerque, OKC, St. Louis, Indianapolis, and then...who knows?

This blog will give us a chance to share our thoughts, our experiences, pictures, and provide ourselves and our friends and family with the opportunity to travel along with us, if only virtually. Trust me - you wouldn't all want to be crammed into the mini-van, despite my near-legendary packing skills. So just login and enjoy from the comfort of home. Your prayers will reach us wherever we happen to be staying - and know that our prayers are surrounding you as well.